Some have asked for updates on the boys health, and to be completely honest I haven't felt very positive or uplifted recently, so I took a break from my blog updates. Then it was getting to the point where I was struggling to retell everything that's happened in the last month. So here's a short version...
I needed a break from blogging, from our story, a time to refocus and to pray. I needed an attitude adjustment. Don't get me wrong, it is completely ok to be scared, upset or concerned about circumstances in your life. But getting stuck in that place is not ok, and that is where I was at.
Since Christmas break Gavin has come home from school almost once a week. He's had some days of chest pains, and days of just not feeling well. He still sleeps a lot and gets out of breath easily. The one positive I can say since taking him off most of his medications, he hasn't passed out! Hopefully it will stay that way! We go back to St. Louis March 1st to re-evaluate. Please be in prayer for this appointment, we just want peace about Gavins health. A transplant is not a cure all, so I am not even asking for prayers that we go that route. A transplant brings on an entirely different set of issues. I think wisdom for the doctors and peace for us as a family is what we need most!
Brody had his follow up at Cooks regarding his elevated CK levels and elevated liver enzymes. They've decided Brody will need a muscle biopsy and another set of genetic tests. So we're waiting to hear back on a date for that. When you see Brody it's as if nothing is even wrong with him. Which is so puzzling. His labs tell a different story. And it's not the kind of labs you just sit back and ignore. There's damage being done somewhere, it's just finding where. He has occasional stomach flare ups but nothing like he did when this entire situation started over a year ago. We know that God is bigger than any "abnormal labs" and that He can heal Brody from whatever is attacking his muscular system. I don't say that lightly, I truly believe it.
In the midst of all of this Adam came down with the flu and was stuck in OKC for a week. At the same time, I was admitted to the hospital after having a health scare. We like to do things big around here, you know! God bless my family for taking over my children's busy schedules, lunches and getting them to and from school. And thankful for dear friends in OKC that made sure Adam was alive in his hotel room. I mean I have no idea what we would do without our army that surrounds us. We're truly blessed with the best support team on planet earth!
While I say we're so blessed with a support team, it hurts sometimes to think how "needy" we've been, especially the last two years. I hate having to rely so much on others. I know that's what friends and family are for, but I want to be the one helping someone else for a change. I am a "doer" and this has been extremely difficult for me to sit back and be the receiver time and again. But this all goes back to be stuck in that rut, where the enemy is feeding you lies, getting you down and keeping you there. Last week I read this post on Facebook and it really hit home for me.
"Does it feel like the enemy has been attacking you over and over in an area of your life? Maybe this week has been extraordinarily painful and seemingly hopeless.
Oh, how I wish I could take you by the hand right now and whisper, “I understand.” Because I do. I really, really do.
But here’s what I love about our relationship with the Lord. We can bring Him even the most broken and devastated parts of us… and He will use them to make something beautiful."
So Lord I am asking that you will help me to see a purpose in all of this, help me to see Your purpose for Gavin, for Brody, for us as their parents. Help me to make it something beautiful.
